Firstly a very Happy New Year to you all. Here in part 10 I will offer some practical advice, based on real life experience, of how to deal with “Uncle Bob”.
This will be the last blog for several weeks as I’m off doing a bit of “globe trotting”, but I will return!
So, just how do we deal with “Uncle Bob”?
Firstly I guess, I need to answer the question, who is “Uncle Bob”? It is a term of endearment for those family members / guests found at most weddings who want to be “Wedding Photographers” for the day. They are often keen amateur photographers and I’m convinced they set themselves the goal of taking better photos of the wedding than we professionals.
I really don’t think we need to “fear” them stealing our ideas or photographing our poses, as some professional photographers I have spoken to would have you believe. One “Uncle Bob” I met put it perfectly and I quote “I’ve been to several family weddings and I tend to get 3 or 4 good images that I’m really happy with. I have no idea how you guys get 3 or 4 HUNDRED images at one wedding and I admire that”. I believe that’s how most “Uncle Bobs” feel.
I think most of them have respect for what we do and might want to learn a thing or two from us. Get a few small tips from us on how to improve their own photography.
I have heard other pros say they are a real nuisance. That they stand right in front of you at key moments, shoot over your shoulder and really get in the way.
Well yes, that does sometimes happen but I have found that almost all respond well to being given some polite advice and instruction to make sure they don’t get in your way.
Occasionally you might have to be a bit more assertive but remember, you are at a wedding. You don’t want to “cause a scene” or go upsetting guests and they are perfectly entitled to take photos if they want to.
I have included a clause relating to this issue in my terms and conditions, which I have reproduced below:
1. Exclusive Photographer. The Photographer shall be the exclusive photographer retained by the Client for the purpose of photographing the wedding. Family and friends of the Client shall be permitted to photograph the wedding as long as they shall not interfere with the Photographer’s duties and do not photograph poses arranged by the Photographer.
In practice, I have never had to fall back on this. I have found that issues can be prevented just by talking to people. Making them aware of what you would like them to do and why you would like them to do it.
Getting people to do what you want them to is down to your own interpersonal skills. There will always be the very occasional one that is, how shall I say this, really difficult to deal with, but if you are having problems on a regular basis perhaps you should be taking a good look at yourself.
I was once given a very good bit of advice by a famous photographer. He said, “if you want to be a better photographer of people, first concentrate on becoming a better person”. I think that is sound advice.
Personally I think you’re getting off to a bad start if you approach the issue with the view that they are all just a nuisance. You need to realise that some of them are capable of taking some really good images and in my experience, few of them actually make a “nuisance” of themselves.
You also must not presume that all “Uncle Bobs” are just keen amateurs. I have been a guest at weddings myself ( I would rather be a guest at a family wedding and enjoy the day ) and will bring one camera with me, just in case, but I don’t consider myself to be an “Uncle Bob”.
I have said it earlier, but I think it’s worth repeating. I have found almost all guests looking to take photos and are getting in your way, respond well to being given some polite advice. Occasionally you have to be quite assertive but most will listen, especially if you warn them that they will incur the wrath of the couples and their parents if the photos don’t come out well!!
The worst I have come across was one chap who literally stood right behind me during the “confetti” shot. I asked him to keep to one side as I would be walking backwards. He ignored me and I stepped back onto his feet and almost fell over him.
He then followed me when I took the couple away for their “couple” photos. The Bride herself solved the problem. She advised him that his presence was not welcome, pointing out the incident with the confetti shot, and he skulked off and kept out of the way.
If you do come across someone who is very rude and simply will not listen to your advice, take pictures anyway. You can then show the couple exactly who prevented you from getting the photos they wanted!
Another option is to suggest to the couple early in the planning stage that they have an “unplugged” wedding. It’s their day and therefore their choice, but there’s no harm in mentioning it to them. It certainly prevents a “forest” of mobile phones and tablets appearing out of nowhere when the Bride walks up the aisle.
I have had so many take up this idea that I have a large sign they can borrow to put on display. It reads
“UNPLUGGED CEREMONY“. We invite you to be fully present during our ceremony. Kindly turn off all your devices and enjoy this moment with us. THANK YOU.
There are various alternative wordings around such as “enjoy our ceremony through your eyes, not your electronic device”, but as long as it gets the message across, it’s up to the couple exactly what wording works for them.
I believe in a little bit of forward planning. I think it’s a good idea to ask the Bride and Groom during your last consultation with them before their wedding day, whether they have any family members likely to “take a keen interest” in what is going on with the photography. Usually I can then formulate a plan of how the “Uncle Bobs” are best handled with the Bride and Groom’s approval.
It might be best, if circumstances allow and it seems appropriate, to actually involve the guests concerned. Make them feel a part of it ( but don’t get them “working under your direction” as you may fall foul of you insurance T’s & C’s if things go wrong ).
I have been known to bring keen Mums or Dads with me when doing the photos of the couple on their own. Both the couples and the parents really appreciated it and I think in their eyes this gesture meant I could do no wrong!
I took the photos of the couple that I wanted to take while they watched. Once I had finished, I let them take their photos. They might have been photographing my poses but, because of different camera settings and the way they composed their images, they looked very different to mine. Remember, we have nothing to fear!!
That’s it for now. Hopefully I will be back blogging again when I return from my travels. Until then, enjoy your work. After all, it’s still the best job in the world!!